Christmas
I’ve never really liked cooking for Christmas much. I think that making ham is trash compared to the much superior turkey. Thanksgiving needs cooking; it is a holiday built around the idea of stuffing yourself then sleeping maybe watching the Lions blow a forth quarter lead. Christmas on the other hand is about family, capitalism, lights, snow, morbidly obese man breaking into your house and leaving material goods that he probably got from the profit of slave labor. They don’t teach you that in Rudolph.
Santa explaining the benefits of forced labor
Thanksgiving needs the meal, without the meal Thanksgiving would just be sitting at a table talking to your weird Trumpy uncle that won’t stop talking about how Hilary murdered some people in a pizza shop or something. Christmas is a time for giving and pretending nothing is wrong because Jeff is giving you the newest Nintendo console.
You don’t really need the meal. It is near the bottom of the important things that people think of when they think of Christmas. The first being how Christmas music starting earlier and earlier each year. On a side note, I would like to meet the person who is totally into Christmas music in August. I mean it must be someone because they wouldn’t do it unless someone was into it, unless it’s all of us and no one is willing to admit they bump Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You” all year long. I’ll do that right here: I love you Ms. Carey and I hope you are doing well. Back on track, the second being putting away Jeff and my political differences and coming together to celebrate the glory that is market
You know you love her
capitalism. “I get it Jeff, they’re going to pay for it that’s a very smart thing to do.” Finally, the fifty third thing being Christmas dinner right after wondering for the twenty second year in a row if reindeer are real. Don’t worry I’ve looked it up again this year and I can tentatively state that reindeer are in fact not real. You’re welcome. My point being, Christmas dinner is boring, because it is mired by tradition, and unimportant but since it is the season of giving and I have nothing else to do here are the recipes I made for Christmas this year.
Jeff